There is a saying in Chinese.
拔苗助长, which loosely translates into pulling up the shoot/sapling to help it grow.
The phrase has a story along with it.
Once upon a time, a farmer wanted to hasten his harvest as he felt his rice plants were growing too slowly. So he went through the entire field, pulling them slightly up by one inch. The next day, he woke up to see that all his rice plants had died.
Life Is Tough
In the 21st century, the underlying norm is, everything should be done as quickly and as efficiently within reason. This makes sense, the more efficient we are, the faster we can produce for less. Unfortunately, this business perspective has spilled over into our personal lives as well.
Those who learn faster than others are hailed and praised as geniuses or the smart ones. While the ones who learn slower than others are spoken about quietly in dark corners.
Whether it be sports, academics, social skills, technical skills, coding… If we are slow learners, it’s depressing.
So we try to forcefully grow. We put in double or triple the amount of effort. Because that’s what our mentors ask us to do right? If you’re not so good, put in more effort!
What if they are wrong?
What if growth happens in stages and we just haven’t reached that level yet?
I am Slow
I’m slow.
In some aspects of life, I’m a tortoise-like learner.
Like sports. Or math. Or social skills.
My point is, I’m not the speediest learner in some parts. I’m sure you have some points in life that you are slow in too.
There is nothing quite as depressing while watching your peers speed into the sunset in their learning process while you slowly crawl in their wake, eating their dust.
Nevertheless, we still try to catch up. Working three times as hard just to keep up with them and wondering how they make it look so easy.
I am Scared
What would happen?
Self doubt would start to creep in.
I guess I’m really not cut out for this.
I worked so hard, and yet…
I’m tired. I tried everything already
Confidence starts to deteriorate.
We start losing motivation.
We start losing interest.
We start losing passion.
I am Helpless
Reading the self-helps don’t seem to… well, help. Techniques for Learning Faster, Meta-learning, Tips and Tricks to be Successful, How to Learn like Elon Musk. They are merely band-aids and unable to get to the root of the problem.
They will say not to give up. Feed you stories of famous people who persevere. Some might use the tough talk, telling us not to whine, that excuses are for losers, and to toughen it out.
I know that feeling. Listening to all that podcasts and reading all the articles, yet, sweating blood and tears just to get an average result. That feeling like a talentless loser.
But, I Will Grow,
It’s okay.
What if…
Growth doesn't happen to everyone at the same time?
Some may be ahead of the curve and some may be behind. The important thing is that everybody is advancing on the curve.
There is no need to forcefully pull up your own roots just to be able to keep up with everyone else. Everyone may be pulling their own roots up as well. Grow firmly and steadily, only with a strong enough base can you support yourself to reach for the skies.
Slowly and Surely
It’s okay to learn at your own pace.
It’s okay if that’s slow.
It’s okay if all the people your age are better, more successful, more intelligent then you at this moment.
What you need to understand is that maybe you haven’t fully grown enough mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually to challenge this part in life.
Not everybody grows at the same rate.
Not everybody is at that level already.
It’s okay to retreat, to go and learn and grow in other aspects, in smaller steps first before challenging again.
And hey, if you really, absolutely, must do it now. Give it your very best, triple the effort, and regardless of the result, hold your head up high.
Because you have nothing to be ashamed of.
