Those Rocks and Pebbles in Your Life That Need to be Shattered.

I hated studying.

Of course, growing up as an Asian child, not studying wasn't an option. My parents didn't mind if I didn't get the grade, but they did mind if I didn't even bother trying.

Hence, I have been the receiving end of almost every parenting trick in the book. From bribery, cajoling, guilt-tripping, punishment and rather odd ways.

My father’s favorite method was persuading… or, as I rather call it, lecturing.

Among his many lectures, there was one which started off with a story. A simple one, about a teacher bringing a glass bottle to the class along with rocks, sand and pebbles.

He then told me that the rocks were the important things that need to be done, the responsibilities in life. The pebbles were the urgent things and the sand was the stuff I liked to do. Then he would proceed to tell me, for one to fill the glass bottle with everything, one had to start with the rocks, then move on to the pebbles and finally only the sand.

Basically, study first, which was my main responsibility, then urgent tasks like chores, and then only play, which was the sand.

Later on did I know it was an excerpt from Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Putting first things first which would help productivity.

This should be the most productive way… or is it?

As a child I always thought, why must we even put the rocks and pebbles into the glass bottle in the first place?

We have a limited amount of time, 24 hours a day. This is a fact. However, the things we have to do are subjective. Some of us may have to cook dinner, drive the child to class, learn some new material, rush a deadline. Most of them are rocks and pebbles.

What happens if you… eliminate some of the rocks and pebbles in life instead? Or at least reduce their size?

So many times we get stuck in a routine. Everyday, we put the same rocks, the same pebbles into our glass bottle before filling whatever pouches of space with sand. Day after day we do this. However, when a sudden event occurs, and a huge rock or a bunch of pebbles come our way, we don’t have the time to deal with them. Anxiety, stress, mental breakdowns and burnouts occur.

Break out of that routine. Take the entire problem away.

Instead of driving your children to school and getting stuck in traffic, carpool with your neighbors or hire a transporter.

Instead of spending half the morning cleaning your house, hire a cleaning service to deal with it.

Instead of studying 100% of the material the course needs. Identify the important topics and focus on them while eliminating the rest.

Many responsibilities/problems can be outsourced or solved with just a little effort and creativity. Some may cost a small amount. Nevertheless, you will manage to save not only your time, but also your limited mental and physical energy, for the truly important things THAT REQUIRE YOUR PERSONAL ATTENTION.

Important things such as going to the gym (you cannot outsource exercise), spending time with your love ones (you are not replaceable), following your passion (you cannot buy the happiness that is birthed from doing things you enjoy).

Find a quiet hour, sit down and summarize your usual day-to-day activities. Kind of the like old styled timetable when you were in primary school, with each time period corresponding to a class.

Then start destroying it.

Cut away those things you can live without. The useless ones first. Then start brainstorming for the remaining ones. What ways can be used to reduce/eliminate this major time consuming issues in my life?

Some may cost a little money, and since humans are loss averse, this means we avoid spending money if possible. What I do to overcome this heuristic bias is use the minimum wage per hour of the country I live in as comparison. Then see if the problem can be solved for that or lesser. If it can be, do it.

It is going to be uncomfortable to do these things. Coming up with creative ideas for problem solving isn't easy. Implementing it is even harder.

You would rather drive your child to class everyday then ask your neighbor if she wants to carpool.

You would rather clean your house then search and call up cleaning services firms.

You would rather just memorize everything instead of researching which topics are more likely to be examined.

This is why so many of us rather stay in routine than search for ways to break away. In a nutshell, we are lazy. Nevertheless, the benefits reaped are enormous if the solution bears fruit, saving you a lot more time/ energy in the long run.

So what are you waiting for? Grab a pickax and start shattering those rocks and pebbles into dust!