An eternal war waged by team Optimist and Team Pessimist. Both sides trying to convince the other that they are wrong. Which side are you on?
The famous half glass full or half glass empty metaphor allows people to judge if they are an optimistic or pessimistic person. The optimists are usually associated with terms such as hopeful, confident and happy-go-lucky. Still can’t think of anyone you that fits the optimistic bill? Below is an example.
Pessimists on the other hand are associated with doom, despair and destruction. Sorrowful cries of the world coming to an end, predictions of impending death, proclamations of calamities. Yeap, that’s us pessimists.
Note that I said US for pessimists. That’s right, I am on Team Pessimist. Or should I say I was.
I firmly believe that whether you see the glass half full or the glass half empty is a matter of choice. In other words, I believe you can switch teams from either Team Optimist to Team Pessimist or vice versa.
So, why did I choose to be a pessimist when optimism is such a good deal? Why did I pick the gloom and doom over the fun and joy? Simply because of the misinterpretation of the word optimism. The term is overused and misunderstood in popular culture giving rise to phrases like these.
Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will.
Just because things aren’t good now doesn't mean it will be that way forever.
For every dark night, there’s a brighter day.
The pessimist complains about the wind but the optimists hopes for it to change.
The myth of optimism in popular culture is to believe everything is going to be alright.Some may find it useful for a motivational boost but I despised that explanation of optimism. I found it shallow and unrealistic. Believing that a problem will magically go away because after every dark night, there’s a brighter day, right? There’s no need for backup plans, just forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe in the one reason it will. What could possibly go awry?
So I chose to be a pessimist. Every plan I made, I saw everything that could go wrong. Every decision I made, only the negative consequences were expected. I believed this was for the best. If I expected everything to go wrong, I could prepare numerous backup plans. Then nothing could go wrong. Simple right?
It worked. My decisions and plans were always one of the best. I was prepared for everything to go wrong and able to deal with it. So I persisted with my pessimistic outlook of life. Cynically laughing at those so called optimists. I was the I Told You So guy, the I Knew It Was Gonna Go Wrong guy.
However I neglected a very important aspect about the being on Team Pessimist. Mental health. It was depressing only seeing the portholes on the road of life. Fear and paranoia were my best friends during those times (Probably because my real life friends avoided me like plague). I was living in perpetual fright of the future, and it was twisting my personality, my life. I was a very sad existence during those dark times.
It was so bad that every time I had to make an important decision in life (pursing my studies in law or business), I would suffer from crippling anxiety. My physical health suffered as a result. I would fall ill, feeling nauseous, feverish and headaches. Yet the doctors diagnoses were telling me I was fine.
Recently, I stumbled across the term, realistically optimist.
Just two simple words. It blew my mind away. An optimist with realistic expectations.
Reality is a constant variable. It doesn’t matter how bad the situation you THINK is going to be. The situation is only going to be as bad as it realistically can. If you get a cut on your finger at home, an unrealistic prediction would be that your finger getting infected which would lead to the doctor amputating your hand. The CHANCE of that happening is there but it isn’t realistic. What’s more likely to happen is that the wound is going to hurt a little and then recover in the next few days.
As a pessimist, I would blow things out of proportion. Not crazily out of proportion like my example above, just slightly more then others. Before a social event, I would think of dozens of situations that could go wrong and that would freak me out. What if I drink too much? What if I have a stomachache? What if the people at the event don’t like me? What if I make a fool out of myself? Then I prepare as best as I can. Then I get anxiety. Then I screw up.
What would be the train of thought for a realistic optimist instead? What if I meet new friends? What if there are beautiful beings of the opposite sex that I can get to know? What if the food they serve there is exceptionally good? ( I am clearly terrible at being optimistic, judging from the situations I think of.) Then ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that there may be undesirable situations. A stomachache might occur, best bring some paper. Getting drunk is a possible scenario, best play to cool with the liquor.
Reality is a fact. We can’t change it. The only thing we can change are our perceptions and reactions to it. Why live in fear when you can live in hope? Just take your precautions and make your backup plans. Then stride proudly and hopefully forward.
So, I want to migrate (hopefully permanently) to Team Optimist (carrying with me a hefty dose of realism). Reality doesn't care how you interpret it. It just…..exists. Whether you are on Team Optimist or Team Pessimist, those are just your perceptions. You are going to go to that social event anyways. So why not prepare for the worse but expect the best?
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